The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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