I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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