Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found your dick twin last night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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