D3 body, D1 cock
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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