it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize