maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he fucked my hip out of place.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
