I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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