Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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