True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
