Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
