i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize