I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
