i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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