And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
