Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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