I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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