hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
