Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
