Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
