I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
