"it" just moved
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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