Buhtt sex?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
