I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
did i walk over a car last night?
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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