No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
