Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
