Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
