Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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