You smell like stripper and shame
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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