I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
