my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize