Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
