"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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