Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
