I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.