A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
