Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
ok first of all what the fuck
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
