If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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