I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Randomize