He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
