"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
