my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
