I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize