We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
