Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
