Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
