I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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