wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
