16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
