what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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