I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
