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he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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