U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
