she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want her autograph on my taint
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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