we have officially lost it.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
