i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
