so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.