Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
