you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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