If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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