my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
