we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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