I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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