Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
