she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
try to milk me bitch
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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