Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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