I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
