id be glad to
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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