Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
